The irrepressible Kat and Alfie return to Walford this week in a blaze of leopard print and eye makeup. You might be forgiven; however, for being a little underwhelmed by their reappearance, a fancy dress shop blonde wig just doesn’t quite cut it compared to our favourite all time soap comebacks…
5. Dirty Den returns from the dead – Eastenders
When a body is never recovered in soapland, the door always seems to be open for a characters return. And though one might be forgiven for thinking actor Leslie Grantham spent the intervening years reading Skype for Dummies, it turns out all this time Den Watts had been on the run in Spain. Returning with the infamous line ‘Hello princess’ Den was soon caught up by estranged wife Chrissie who managed to do what the best East End gangs couldn’t, bludgeoning him to death with a doorstop and encasing his body in concrete in the cellar of the Vic.
4. Paul Robinson - Neighbours
Leaving Ramsay Street in 1993 after a spot of bother with the taxman, Paul returned 11 years later to burn down Lou's pub and half the Lassiter's complex with it, accidentally killing madman Gus Cleary in the process. And it hasn’t ended there for the hapless Paul, since his return he’s been married twice, lost a leg, had attempts on his life by Harold Bishop (of all people) and his own son, and survived a plane crash and a brain tumour.
3. Tracey Barlow – Coronation Street
One of my favourite soap phenomenons is the shape shifter. You may have noticed it before, a character will leave for a badly scripted reason to an unknown location (although Barcelona’s University Hospital has to be a safe bet) and returns with a new head. Poor Tracy Barlow has been through this four times now, but her reintroduction in 2002 was a master stroke. The super-bitch soon got to work, feigning sleeping with Roy Cropper before apparently meeting her match in the cheating Charlie. Not so, and she beats him to death with a conveniently placed lump of metal.
2. The resurrection of Harold Bishop – Neighbours
Is this the most emotional moment in soap history? Croaky voiced Madge screaming Harold’s name as the sea laps over his carefully placed spectacles? Life goes on, as they say, and it did for Harold too, under the guise of Salvation Army member and tuba extraordinaire Ted Cooper. Discovered by Helen Daniels, he returned to renew his vows with Madge in 1997.
1. J.R Ewing - Dallas
In 1980, the mystery of who shot J.R was more talked about than the presidential election. And of course the answer turned out to be no one, really. The scheming oil baron was such a fans favourite, that producers desperately sought a way to bring him back from the dead. In a move any 9 year old would have been proud of, they opted for the ‘It was just a dream approach’ and rendered the entire season 7 pointless in the process.
5. Dirty Den returns from the dead – Eastenders
When a body is never recovered in soapland, the door always seems to be open for a characters return. And though one might be forgiven for thinking actor Leslie Grantham spent the intervening years reading Skype for Dummies, it turns out all this time Den Watts had been on the run in Spain. Returning with the infamous line ‘Hello princess’ Den was soon caught up by estranged wife Chrissie who managed to do what the best East End gangs couldn’t, bludgeoning him to death with a doorstop and encasing his body in concrete in the cellar of the Vic.
4. Paul Robinson - NeighboursLeaving Ramsay Street in 1993 after a spot of bother with the taxman, Paul returned 11 years later to burn down Lou's pub and half the Lassiter's complex with it, accidentally killing madman Gus Cleary in the process. And it hasn’t ended there for the hapless Paul, since his return he’s been married twice, lost a leg, had attempts on his life by Harold Bishop (of all people) and his own son, and survived a plane crash and a brain tumour.
3. Tracey Barlow – Coronation Street
One of my favourite soap phenomenons is the shape shifter. You may have noticed it before, a character will leave for a badly scripted reason to an unknown location (although Barcelona’s University Hospital has to be a safe bet) and returns with a new head. Poor Tracy Barlow has been through this four times now, but her reintroduction in 2002 was a master stroke. The super-bitch soon got to work, feigning sleeping with Roy Cropper before apparently meeting her match in the cheating Charlie. Not so, and she beats him to death with a conveniently placed lump of metal.
2. The resurrection of Harold Bishop – Neighbours
Is this the most emotional moment in soap history? Croaky voiced Madge screaming Harold’s name as the sea laps over his carefully placed spectacles? Life goes on, as they say, and it did for Harold too, under the guise of Salvation Army member and tuba extraordinaire Ted Cooper. Discovered by Helen Daniels, he returned to renew his vows with Madge in 1997.
1. J.R Ewing - Dallas
In 1980, the mystery of who shot J.R was more talked about than the presidential election. And of course the answer turned out to be no one, really. The scheming oil baron was such a fans favourite, that producers desperately sought a way to bring him back from the dead. In a move any 9 year old would have been proud of, they opted for the ‘It was just a dream approach’ and rendered the entire season 7 pointless in the process.