Tight Tuesday: Rent Private Practice Series One for just 99p!

Another Tuesday, another huge discount offer as selected by YOU, our lovely viewers. This week the medical staff of the Oceanside Wellness Centre kicked butt in the voting chart, which means for one day only (I mean today), you can rent the entire of Series One for a measly 99 English pence.

Also, did you know Private Practice is a spin off from Grey's Anatomy? You can have that for free. Talking of Grey's, you can vote for next week's Tight Tuesday candidate now and Grey's Series Three is one of the contenders, including Ugly Betty Series Three, The Hills Series Two and Robin Hood Series Two. Happy voting!

Goodbye Downton Abbey, Hello Sense and Sensibility

It's a truth universally acknowledged every TV period drama is in need of a galaxy actors to fill out the extravagant cast lists. Well known English actors rub shoulders with luminous ingenues and old sitcom stars looking for a new lease of life. All supported by bevvy of people you recognise from somewhere else, but can't quite put your finger on where that somewhere was...

ITV's amazing and now sadly-departed Downton Abbey was no exception, mixing perennial bustle-botherers Dame Maggie Smith and Hugh Bonneville with Lovejoy's Phyllis Logan and Every Decreasing Circle's Penelope Wilton. And then there was floppy-haired, blue-eyed Dan Stevens.

"Who?" I hear you ask. He played Matthew Crawley, the distinctly non-U Lord Grantham-in-waiting constantly rebuffed by Lady Mary, whilst the godawful Lady Sybil lurked in the wings with a face that could sour milk.

As it turns out he's no stranger to sporting a Corinthian bouffant, or to being spurned by ladies in bonnets. Not strictly speaking "costume", his big break came playing Nick Guest, the lead in Alan Hollingshurst's tale of Eighties excess The Line of Beauty - although there is an argument massive shoulder pads, ZX Spectrums and a love of Thatcher are so out of date they could be considered "Period".

Far more breeches and barouche boxes were his turns in the BBC's 2006 version of Dracula, and the US TV mini-series version of Frankenstein alongside Matt Goss. No, really.

However, if you want to re-live the doe-eyed glory of Matthew Crawley looking for love, may I direct your attention to his star turn as Edward Ferrars in the sexed-up version of Sense and Sensibility?

You may think you don't need to look beyond the Emma Thompson/Kate Winslett version, but this 2008 BBC three-parter brings a whole new melancholy and humanism to the piece, as well as containing Daisy Haggard's gloriously over-the-top Miss Steele.

So if you're missing Downton Abbey, why not scratch that itch with a visit to Barton Park and Donwell Abbey? I warrant you'll find it most felicitous...

Happy Birthday Gordon!

Seesaw would like to say a very big Happy 44th Birthday to award-winning celebrity chef and master of the expletive-laden torrent of histrionic abuse - Mr Gordon James Ramsay.

The Scottish-born chef is a Michelin-starred restauranteur, best-selling author, and one of the UK’s most (and least) popular TV personalities, behind a string of hits including the SeeSaw favourites Ramsay’s Best Restaurant, Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmare, and Gordon Ramsay’s F Word.

However, what makes Gordon interesting to watch is not just his love of exquisite French cuisine or his passion for perfectly produced food, but his well-seasoned delivery of the English language with a dash of ‘subtle’ arrogance. It may all just be a carefully constructed schtick to keep us on our toes, but there are few people more controversial or confrontational on television. Can you see Clarkson going toe-to-toe with former cabinet minister Edwina Currie, with the following verbal haymaker "Do you always two-time people Edwina? First, you're shagging a prime minister and now you're shagging me up the arse from behind?" It's his blend of the familiar and the insulting that make for compelling TV.

Things have not been all plain-sailing for Mr Ramsay over the last year, with his marriage on the rocks, his restaurants suffering some PR disasters, and now his long-term business partner (and father-in-law) leaving acrimoniously, but you know he'll bounce back - after giving himself a stern talking to no doubt.

Join Seesaw in celebrating the birthday boy's 44th year, and let us know your favourite Gordon Ramsay insult. Can you top this attack on the United States? "The problem with Yanks is they are wimps". Get stuck in...

Always Outnumbered, often outdone

"Never work with children or animals." So said that most misanthropic and quoteworthy of comics, W.C. Fields, shortly before upping sticks to join Valerie Singleton, John Noakes and Shep clearing excrement off Blue Peter's studio floor. We joke, we kid, of course. Whether working with children is silly billy or not hasn't stopped the Beeb from giving us a televisual family feast of dysfunctional parenting in suburbia over the last 25 years. If the nineties belonged to 2point4 Children, and the noughties My Family, then the now-ties (bear with us) belong very much to Outnumbered.

Having dropped the dead donkey, creators Andy Hamilton and Guy Jenkin have swapped sniping at Globelink for squabbling at home with the Brockmans. But what do we actually know about these strained relations other than that the patriarch is exactly 50 per cent of Punt and Dennis and even less of The Mary Whitehouse Experience?

Playing the numbers game

O formal scripts for the kids
We're all used to hearing about the improvisational skills of 'schmohawk' Larry David and friends in HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm, but the Brockman kids - Jake, Ben and Karen - are not saddled with too much in the way of lines either. Armed with only the basic outline of scenes, the kids are encouraged to do what they do best. Yep, 'act' like kids. Simples.

1 house
And a very nice one too. Seemingly in an unnamed leafy suburb of Londonshire. But don't let the tidy Victorian facade fool you. Within the confines of those four walls can be found a kind of mayhem that kinsfolk across the country can empathise with. Don't fret - you're not alone in not being able to find the phone when it ring-a-dings. It's under the ironing, cloth ears.

2 parents
Sue and Pete are the agonising 'Mum' and 'Dad'. Pete is an inner city history teacher, forlornly wrestling with political correctness gone mad and an image-obsessed headmaster, while Sue makes a full-time job of being a part-time PA. Together they are driven to distraction by an offspring overload. Sometimes Google really doesn't have the answer.

3 children
A finer triumvirate of adult-baiters you're never likely to see. There's the sulky adolescent eldest, the mad little middle man with a bewildering thirst for lying, and the doe-eyed poppet, brimful of barrister-like inquiry. All resplendently showcasing that unerring childish ability to say exactly what they think. At exactly the wrong time.

4 million viewers...
for the first ever episode aired in 2008. A solid start. A foundation on which a very successful house was built. As well as being critically lauded, the show's stars have had to get used to picking up it's fair share of gongs too. Oh gosh. If it's not careful it's going to get it's very own American remake. Oh golly gosh.

5 pounds...
was the price Dad had to pay for the privilege of wresting his power drill back from Ben. Really, Dad ought to man-up a tad where Ben is concerned. Especially when Dad is trying to reason with him in public and Ben screams to anyone that will listen that Dad isn't his dad. Come on Dad, show him who's the daddy.

6 episodes...
in the first series. The magic number according to to 'The Book of British Comedy Gold'. If you don't believe us read the chapters on Fawlty Towers, The Office, and, erm, The Inbetweeners. We won't mention that series two slips in an episode too many and move swiftly on to the fact that series three returns to the joy of six.

7 is bath and bedtime
'Operation Early Night' never really works out for Sue and Pete, much to Pete's chagrin. Domestic evening bliss, where the kids are sound asleep and glasses of fine red wine flow are some kind of untouchable utopia for Mr and Mrs Brockham. Better then to resign themselves to dealing with blocked waste disposal units, cold-callers and unwanted guests.

8 times...
a day that Ben the brat demands to watch Little Britain. Dad certainly doesn't share his son's appreciation of messrs. Lucas and Walliams - but we certainly shall not frown upon tube obsessions of the chortling kind, unhealthy or otherwise. Yeah, I know.

9 is how old Karen will be next birthday
The show's undoubted jewel in the crown is growing up on screen - but she's still a little angel, in the style of Drew Barrymore circa E.T. With devilish questions any mastermind would have difficulty answering: "What's a hypocrite?"; "Do you believe in God?"; "Can I keep a nit for a pet?"; What's a Nazi?". At least she is putting off running away from home "'til morning."

10 feet...
and five heads; 564 fibs; a dozen disciplinary hearings; 345 unread work emails; one first day at secondary school; two types of Indian; 58 missed phone calls from granddad; 26 odd socks; 18 uneaten peas on a plate; no 40 winks; countless arguments and a ton of tears. Welcome to parenthood.

We at Seesaw Towers can't be held responsible for the validity of the figures published above. But no children were harmed in the making of this blog. Sorry W.C.

Five reasons why Channel 4 comedy fans should love Whites

Anyway you look at it, in Blighty the comedy world divides into two kingdoms - the BBC's 'safe' sitcoms and Channel 4's 'street' sketch shows. You either love The Inbetweeners and PhoneShop OR you're a massive fan of Miranda and The Armstrong & Miller Show, and never the twain shall meet. Unless the sight of Windsor Davies and Donald Sinden running competing antique shops pushes your laughter buttons of course.

However this split isn't as cut and dried as it might seem. After all Armstrong & Miller, Mitchell & Webb, Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse all started out on C4 before making the great leap to Auntie Beeb. Hidden away in the schedules over the last six weeks, ignored in the great Inbetweeners/PhoneShop love-in, was another group of C4 rebels with a brand new, criminally ignored comedy that really should've been embraced by more people, particularly by fans of Peep Show.

The first series of Whites finished last night with an Eighties-themed staff party, a broken engagement, a broadcast conversation about low sperm motility and a enough loose ends to demand a second series. And when it does arrive here are five reasons why you hardcore C4 comedy heads should tune in:

1. It's written by Matt King. Anyone? Anyone? Anyone? King is Channel 4 through and through, with appearances in Dogface, Star Stories, City of Vice (really!) and Skins, but he's best known as Peep Show's resident drug baron and one half of Curse These Metal Hands, Super Hans. Not only did he write it but King also plays suitably shady meat supplier Melvin, who seems to have run down most of his products in his van.

2. It's almost entirely staffed by C4 comedy stalwarts: Kevin Bishop makes a guest appearance, The IT Crowd's Katherine Parkinson plays put-upon maitre d' Caroline, Green Wing and Smack the Pony's Darren Boyd is a sous chef with a low sperm count, Isy Suttie aka Peep Show's Dobby is a waitress with a very weak grip on reality and, of course, Alan Davies is head chef Roland White. Didn't you know Alan's first TV show was Channel 4's One for the Road? Check out that inappropriate picture!

3. The hotel kitchen is every bit as horrific as Green Wing's East Hampton Hospital Trust, the Sutton High Street Branch of PhoneShop and the former business behemoth that was JLB Credit, and staffed by equally grotesque characters.

4. The fact it was broadcast at nine on a Tuesday would suggest the BBC weren't sure what they had on their hands. Was it a drama with some comic elements, or a comedy with a dramatic arc tying the episodes together? It's certainly less slapstick and accessible than their usual early evening output and closer to the more recent strand of darker, bleaker shows like Him and Her and Getting On.

5. Surely given the fact nearly all of Channel 4's output is cookery shows these days, a comedy taking the piss, written by a Channel 4 star and populated by great comedians from brilliant Channel 4 shows should be right up your street?

If you fancy catching up on a hidden gem, the whole series is still available on iPlayer. Check it out and let us know what you think...

From The Archive: The Solitary Life of Cranes

When your resident factual expert isn’t busy grooming his beard and nibbling on scotch eggs, he likes to spend his time hunting through tellyland for the more obscure documentaries. Sure, we all love to watch some Attenborough or catch up on Hitler’s secret shark, but there’s something satisfying about learning something entirely new, isn’t there?

Which brings me neatly to the (award winning) Solitary Life of Cranes which I discovered recently, nestled deep in the SeeSaw vaults with the VHS tapes and IT department.

There are three layers to every city: The network of tunnels beneath our feet, street level, and the buildings that bend into the sky. And voyeuristically perched above all of these are a small group of isolated people  peering down from their glass bottomed cabs. Anonymous, forgotten, and disregarded by the marching feet below them, crane drivers see the world from a God-like perspective.

You see these little glimpses of people's lives as they go past, and views you're never going to see anywhere else of city life, looking down on it. And that has probably given me a really different perspective on life...it's just odd little vignettes of people's lives that make you smile

If you suffer from vertigo being a crane operator probably isn’t the job for you, and yet as you descend into the tube after a day in an office, you can’t help but feel envious of the drivers as they clamber hundreds of feet to work every morning. The sense of wonder they describe is contagious. There's a beautiful paradox in the crane driver, sat alone in a glass cabinet and yet completely out of view, and while it's easy to believe they lead a solitary life, the truth appears far from it.

Set to a mesmerizing electronic-mechanical soundtrack that’s part Sigur Ros part Portishead, this isn’t a documentary about construction, it is poetry and it might just change the way you look at your surroundings forever.

The Ouch Factor

This weekend saw another X Factor contestant being sent to the great record label in the sky, or the now equivalent to what would have been the bargain bin at Woolies.
Halloween weekend meant that some (not all) of the contestants got to dress up in random spooky style costumes and sing a Halloween style song. To be fair certain contestants didn’t look any different to usual (Wagner anyone?).

Sticking with the theme, there were some horrific performances and some half decent ones:
- Aiden Grimshaw sang Thriller and made it sound like a funeral song, not the upbeat fun song that it actually is – snorefest.
- Katie Waisell looked kind of like a certain Bride of Wildenstein, but actually sang quite well. Even if she did look like her hair was going to make her topple over at any point.
- Wagner was out of tune, out of synch. But is he out of the show? Not this week.
- Belle Amie sang “I’m your Venus etc etc”. Who associates that song with anything but women shaving their legs nowadays? Bad choice of song, bad, well everything really.
- Cher Lloyd had the stand out performance of the night, which somehow got Shakespeare’s Sister back into the top ten. She still looks like a bad Cheryl clone though.

During the results show, the contestants got to sing with Bon Jovi, and when I say sing, I mean lip synch to their pre-recorded backing vocals. Then Jamiroquai sang their new song, whilst Cheryl gave Jay-Kay daggers the whole performance. Apparently he insulted her before the show. Who knows what was said but her and Danni Minogue made a point of not being impressed with him, they didn’t even stand up to clap after the performance as they always do for guests on the show. Maybe he told her she was too skinny? Or that he didn’t like her tattoo? Who knows... Next up: Rihanna, Good performance overall, but she did have bright red ears, I think that her hair dye may have seeped onto them.

The bottom two this week were Belle Amie and Katie Waisell. They did the standard sing off, and to be fair Katie out sung the girls with ease, Belle Amie hurt my ears slightly. So it was bye bye Belle Amie, and Katie lives to sing another week/generate more press for the show.

Zombies and Big Brother Contestants

I know some people think Big Brother contestants are a a bit like zombies, and it's Halloween this weekend, which got me thinking about the classic bout of zombie awesomeness that was Dead Set.

Have you ever dreamed about Big Brother contestants getting eaten by zombies? Well the Charlie Brooker-created ZomCom made this odd dream come true. Quite how anybody could think up a combination of Zombies and BB is beyond us, too much reality TV maybe? However the end result was amazing, and boasted an impressive cast, some of whom have appeared in a selection of our favourite shows: The Inbetweeners, Green Wing, Waterloo Road, Big Train, Shameless and even Bad Girls.

Without getting into too much detail, this five part mini series revolves around Jamie Winstone who plays Kelly, an underpaid, underappreciated runner on the show. Kelly finds herself in the midst of a zombie attack, and the only people who don’t know what is happening are the hapless and annoying housemates.

Chaos ensues as the zombies are everywhere and no one is safe, not even Davina. The best part is when a bunch of ex-housemates get attacked. Want to see Brian Belo or Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace get eaten by zombies? What about Makosi or Kinga (the zombies didnt use a wine bottle)? Go on, take a look. You know you wanna.

We all know how blood hungry the Big Brother crowd could be, but this just takes the biscuit - sweet dreams!

Only Ghouls and Corpses

Hey Pumpkins!

An annual celebration that doesn't go unobserved here at SeeSaw Towers on October 31st is, yep, you guessed it, The Only Fools and Horses Convention. If you find yourself near Hooky Street (aka Bedford/Milton Keynes) on Sunday, why not (trick or) treat yourself to the creme de le menthe of times in the unsaintly company of show faves Boycie, Denzil, Mickey Pearce, Jumbo Mills and Mental Mickey. We hear that there's even a few surprises from Rock & Chips. And don't fret - there's no sign of Damien.

For those that can't make it - don't despair - there's plenty here to remind you just what made OFAH the monster sitcom it was and how frighteningly magnifique Sir David Jason still is.

Mange tout!
Jack "the Lad" O'Lantern

Job Satisfaction Guaranteed

In these days of austerity, we'd all do well to remember Oscar Wilde's assertion that "the best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one." But if the prescient playwright's wise words don't kick-start an overwhelming sense of pre-festive professional gratitude, then take satisfaction in the workplaces that just wouldn't be the hilarious haunts they are without the crazies that work within them...

Fawlty Towers' hotelier, Basil Fawlty
Maniacally prowling reception and restaurant, Cleese's miserly and misanthropic head honcho makes life a living hell for guests and employees in equal measure. The verbal and physical abuse dished out to hapless waiter Manuel outdoes any of newlywed Russell Brand's scandalous prankmeistering and reminds us just how unpleasant one man could make a trip to the the 'English Riviera'.
Do: order the Waldorf salad (arf); Don't: mention the war.

JLB Credit loan manager, Mark Corrigan
Sparing the south London streets of Peep Show's miscreant musician does not atone for Mark's professional underachievements. An undoubted intellect with an encyclopaedic knowledge of ancient and military history (take note, Time Team), Mark's occupational highlights can be written on the back of Johnson's business card. Hacking into Sophie's email, pissing in the boss' drawer and hanging out with the office fascist do not an employee of the month make.
Do: iron his tie; Don't: follow him into the stationary cupboard.

Dunder Mifflin branch manager, Michael Scott
Outlasting Wernham Hogg's David Brent to the tune of a shed load of episodes hasn't helped Scranton's unenlightened despot manage The Office. A graduate of the George Constanza school of man-management, Mr Scott's unabashed attempts to entertain his staff, using his ill-advised alter egos Prison Mike, Ping et al, are straight outta Cringeville.
Do: change his ringtone; Don't: be his secret Santa.

Minister for the Dept. of Social Affairs, Hugh Abbott
Malcolm Tucker may turn The Thick of It's air a somewhat offensive shade of blue, but Hugh Abbott has the primary colour of yellow locked down. Duh, of course he's inherently out-of-touch with the electorate, but that doesn't excuse his spineless efforts to avoid being the next casualty of a cabinet reshuffle. Accidentally sending expletive-filled emails to eight-year-olds is one thing, but letting a civil servant take the hit for it in a Select Committee is a completely different kettle of HR fish.
Do: heckle him; Don't: bring up Flatgate.

PhoneShop store manager, Lance
Forget for a moment that Lance is Simon's father in The Inbetweeners. What you see is a middle-aged man who should resent his career choice. A man who shouldn't be indulging in outdated Hoxton haircuts. A man who shouldn't be airing his marital misfortune in a cellular sanctuary, smoking "ganja" or listening to reggae whilst shouting "Dub selector". What do you mean you know that man - and he's sat checking his Facebook opposite you?
Do: avoid the subject of Shelley; Don't: sign off emails to him with two kisses.

Mighty Boosh zookeepers, Vince and Howard
The main attractions at Bob Fossil's dilapidated Zoo-niverse aren't Ivan the bear, Chi Chi the panda, or the Ape of Death. Not on your nelly (the elephant). They are Howard Moon, the self-professed master of mime and scat fanatic, together with his cheeky colleague Vince Noir, he that basks in the glory of his own outfits. The pair will welcome any visitor to a journey through time and space. And they say never work with animals.
Do: the Tundra Rap; Don't: summon The Spirit of Jazz.

Summer Heights High's Head of Drama, Mr G
"You've got yourself an entertainment industry professional for the price of a teacher. So where's my pay rise?," quips Greg Gregson. It's funny - cos it's true (in his oh-so talented eyes). When Mr G isn't labelling his possessions in the staff room (damn those cleaning fairies), he's making tasteless school productions such as 'Tsunamarama', based on the events of the 2004 Asian Tsunami, set to the music of Bananarama. The only class he's interested in his double choreography.
Do: enjoy his Kermit impression; Don't: tell him to take the back seat.

Here at SeeSaw Towers we're just scratching the work surface, as it were. It's our job. It's. What. We. Do. Remember, it was Oscar Wilde who claimed "work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do..."

Think you can outdo the IT Crowd here for job jokers? Nominations to the usual address, erm, below...

Stephen Moyer's secret Vampire past revealed

Usually in these posts we try and reveal the name behind a face you've seen on TV only to spend fruitless hours trying to remember who they are, and where you saw them. Today however, we're going slightly off-road because you already know who Stephen Moyer is.

He's Bill Compton, the vampire-with-a-heart going out with Anna Paquin's lonely waitress in hit blood-sucking drama True Blood. With his molasses smooth drawl, chiselled looks and Southern charm you'd be forgiven for thinking Moyer is a born-and-bred American, but you could not be more wrong.

He was in fact born and raised in Brentwood, and True Blood isn't his first outing playing the undead, as keen-eyed fans of Channel 4's 1998 Underworld-meets-Spooks mini-series, Ultraviolet, can attest. The show peddled a nice line in mixing the supernatural with a spy thriller, and whilst Moyer wasn't the main star he's easily identifiable.

Sporting an unlikely bouffant that made him look like Oscar Wilde and Hugh Grant's lovechild, he played Jack Beresford, a corrupt cop and a Vampire - or 'Code V'. Check out episode one Habeas Corpus, to see him menacing former best friend Jack Davenport and the series finale, Persona Non Grata.

I won't tell you what happens, you'll just have to watch it. Whilst you're at it why not let us know what you thought? Should we get more vampire dramas, less, did you think it was good? I thought it was pretty good, even if the effects haven't really stood the test of time amazingly well. Spooks obviously owes a bit of debt to it, and I'm always happy to watch Susannah Harker in anything...

True Blood is on Channel 4, 11.00pm, Thursdays
Watch Ultraviolet anytime, for free on SeeSaw

Top Gear - Twitter Competition

To celebrate Top Gear on SeeSaw we have two pairs of tickets to the MPH show featuring Top Gear Live on Saturday 6th November at Earl’s Court, London.

Both pairs of tickets are ‘Silver’ which entitles you to:

A general seat at Top Gear Live
Access to MPH The Prestige & Performance Show
The Official 2010 MPH Publication

Full details can be found on the MPH show website www.mphshow.co.uk

The competition starts on Wednesday 27th October at 12pm.

How to Enter:

This is a twitter-based competition. You can find our twitter page here

To enter the competition, you need to ‘retweet’ the following message from your twitter account:

To celebrate #topgear on SeeSaw, we have 2x pairs of tix to the MPH show featuring Top Gear Live in London on Sat 6th Nov follow + RT to win

We may post this message more than once. You can not retweet more than one message. This will be considered a double entry and all entries will be deleted.

You must be a follower of SeeSawTV twitter account to be eligible to win.

Two winners will be selected at random and announced on twitter.

The competition closes on Thursday 28th October at 8pm and winners will be announced on Friday 29th October.

Full Terms and Conditions are as follows:

Twitter: Prize Draw Terms and Conditions
1. This prize draw is offered by SeeSaw IPTV Limited and is open to respondents who retweet (from their Twitter account) our designated prize draw message, which can be found on SeeSaw’s Twitter page at www.twitter.com/seesawtv. A “retweet” for these purposes refers to Twitter's retweet feature that allows users to share other Twitter user’s messages with their Twitter followers. To take part you will need to have a twitter account (you can create an account at www.twitter.com). No purchase is necessary for entry.
2. Entrants must be aged 18 or over and resident in the United Kingdom. Employees of SeeSaw IPTV Limited and/or Arqiva Limited (and their immediate families) are not eligible to enter.
3. In order to qualify for the prize draw you need to retweet SeeSaw’s prize draw message as detailed on SeeSaw’s Twitter page. Once you have retweeted our prize draw message, you will be entered into the prize draw. You may only retweet once and multiple retweets will be disqualified from entry. You must be a follower of “SeeSawTV” on Twitter in order to be eligible for entry.
4. By entering the prize draw all entrants are deemed to have accepted and agreed to be bound by these terms and conditions. All entry instructions form part of the terms and conditions.
5. In order to be entered into the prize draw, you must retweet SeeSaw’s prize draw message by 10.00pm on Thursday 28 October 2010 (“Closing Date”), after which your retweet will not qualify. Two winners will be drawn at random from all respondents who have submitted qualifying retweets by the Closing Date.
6. The winners will each win two silver class tickets to the MPH show in London on 06 November 2010 featuring Top Gear Live (event details can be found here: http://www.mphshow.co.uk/index.php). The prize as described is available on the date of publication. The prize is non transferable, subject to availability and there is no cash alternative.
7. The winners will be announced on SeeSaw’s Twitter page on the 29 October 2010. You should visit our Twitter page on such date to find out if you are one of the winners. We will also direct message each winner using the Twitter account details provided for the retweet. If a winner does not respond within 3 days of SeeSaw announcing the winner on Twitter we will be entitled to select an alternative winner from the entries received. Winners may be asked to take part in any publicity accompanying or resulting from this promotion.
8. Late or incomplete retweets will not be entered into the prize draw. No responsibility can be accepted for lost or deleted entries, any technical, computer, online, electronic, software, hardware, connection, Internet, website, or other access issue, failure, malfunction or difficulty that might hinder your ability to submit a retweet or take part.
9. The Promoter of this prize draw is SeeSaw IPTV Limited whose registered office is Crawley Court, Winchester, Hampshire, SO21 2QA. In the event of a dispute, the decision of SeeSaw IPTV Limited shall be final and legally binding. No correspondence will be entered into.
10. Prize draw governed by the laws of England.

TV Wedding Shambles? We love them!

Grab your confetti and shine your shoes, weddings are all the rage at the minute with programmes like Channel 4’s The Wedding House and the BBC3’s Don’t Tell the Bride on TV, following on from the eye-popping extravagance of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding (which needs to be seen, trust me)

Let's be honest, a wedding day is supposed to be one of the biggest moments of anyone's life, but for the bride it has depths beyond the icing on a five tier cake. It’s the one day that all eyes are on her as she is made to feel like a princess for the day - or so she hopes. Because it's also the day where things can go horribly wrong - and frequently do.

With this in mind, would you invite a TV crew to your wedding? Even with a generous offer of £12,000 and a stately country mansion throw in, would YOU give up control of your big day? God, I wouldn't but luckily for us, there are enough masochists out there to fully stock both The Wedding House and Don't Tell the Bride with willing participants in the latest car-crash TV.

Both series share two key attributes…

1. The producers lure couples in with the promise of financial help, automatically putting them at their mercy.

2. They use the element of surprise to keep things interesting and to to rack up the drama.

For example, in Don’t Tell the Bride all decision-making is left to the usually clueless groom. This even includes the bride's dress – shock, horror! In an extra twist, the producers even make the bride try on her ideal wedding dress, one she’ll never wear, just for good measure. Ouch! If the dress chosen by her Prince Charming is an atrocity, she still has to march up the aisle to marry the plonker who selected it. It's evil, and it's genius!

Over in The Wedding House the experts give each couple enough rope to hang themselves by allowing them to decide the theme of the wedding, before running off with their own interpretations. The couple have no final say and will not see the results until it’s too late - double ouch!

Most importantly, it's the combination of Bridezillas, inappropriate themes, the arguments, tears, tantrums and happy endings which make both programmes hysterical to watch.

If you some proof, check out The Wedding House on the site right now to see some amazingly themed connubials - Moulin Rouge, bondage or Burlesque anybody? Or even better, witness a gay couple getting ready for their Victorian style civil ceremony, having been together for just three months. Even the registrar thinks it'll be curtains for them – hilarious!

Tight Tuesday: Rent Hustle Series Five for just 99p

Can't afford to go out, but there's nothing on TV? Stuck in that grey area between being sat in a Monday morning coma and getting ready for some midweek drinks? This can only mean one thing - it's Tight Tuesday!

Last week's battle royale saw you edge Alias and Law and Order: SVU out in favour of the pesky cons in Hustle Series Five. The Hills didn't really get a look in to be honest. So you've got until midnight to rent the whole of Series Five for just 99p. We're robbing ourselves blind...

Next week's likely candidates are: Gavin and Stacy Series One, Desperate Housewives Series Four, Absolutely Fabulous Series One and Laguna Beach Series Two.

You have one week to decide, so get voting.

Top 5 - Fake Twitter Accounts

One aspect of twitter that really captured the public's imagination was that public figures could talk directly to the masses. Without PR's (although inevitably they were involved) and rumours in the press getting in the way. However, as soon as this discourse was established it was quickly parodied.

If you are a star worth mentioning you will have an imposter tweeting your likeness. Nowadays even the 'fakes' have an elevated status in the twitterverse with many of them landing book deals, including 3 on this list.

Here are SeeSaw's top 5 fakers, with a noteworthy tweet included.

1. @cherylkerl

The original pseudotwym, ‘she’ debuted to the twitterverse during X factor 2009. She is famed for her phonetic Geordie tweets whilst posing as the pop star and talent show judge. She not only talks about X factor she also talks about topical issues – see tweet below off the back of Alan Sugar being made a Labour peer. She has a book out ‘Cheryl Kerl: Woath It? Coase Ah am, Pet’

‘Ah've just been te Downen St an Gordun Broon's made uz Tsoar for gorl bands an reality sheus. It's a big responsibility leik.’ -16th December

*translation*
‘I’ve just been to Downing Street and Gordon Brown has made me Tsar for girl bands and reality shows. It’s a big responsibility.’

2. @queen_uk

In the news recently we heard that HRH told President Sarkozy that, yes, she does get bored but she doesn’t ‘say so’. Well on her ‘unofficial’ twitter account she does. This is the best that the Queen has ever been, in the loop and pissed off.
‘Mr Clegg, as requested, one is checking if being Deputy PM counts toward your Duke of Edinburgh Gold Award. One suspects not.’ 18th May

3. @mrsstephenfry

Meet Edna Fry, the fictional - obviously - wife of twitterati Stephen Fry. She has all the spam recipes that you could never want and a delightfully no-nonsense middle england attitude. Has recently released her diary, which had an online twitter launch party.

‘I shouldn't let Stephen go on eBay. He's just bought an inflatable voodoo doll.’ 7th October

4. @dianainheaven

Perhaps a bit tasteless, but the tweeter isn’t trying to take advantage of the sentimental Daily Express reader. Princess Diana is tweeting from heaven and she’s riled. Straight from the afterlife’s ‘VIP’ section in the company of many other dead celebs. Also has a book out.

‘Pol Pot's up from The Other Place this afternoon to give a talk. Should be good - his Powerpoint presentations are a thing of legend.’ 24th January

5. @katieweasel

Another X factor one. This new account has already caused so much trouble that the producers of the show told the contestants that they were no longer allowed to tweet, as so many people thought this was actually Katie Waissel. Yes, really.

‘Lots of tears, pain, embarassment and aggression in the studio today. We have all just had Cheryl's new album played to us.’ – 18th October

All You Need To Know About Peter Serafinowicz

ITV drama Whitechapel is the unlikely and somewhat sinister current home of the criminally unappreciated talents of a certain Peter Serafinowicz. As DCI Cazenove he can be seen administering brutal beatings to his beleaguered detectives with as little respect for the code of conduct as Bad Girls' resident evil Jim Fenner. It’s a far cry from the comedic fayre we’re used to seeing the striking Serafinowicz in… and what we are maybe guilty of not seeing him in…

He had his own show didn’t he?
Correctimundo. But you’ll not be proclaimed the king of comedy for remembering The Peter Serafinowicz Show and that it starred a certain sketch-smith known to friends and fans as Peter Serafinowicz.

He’s done stuff with Scotty from Star Trek
Two out of two. Well done. Collaborations are Peter’s forte and he seems to have an unhealthy obsession with being Simon Pegg’s arch nemesis. Not only can he be seen as Duan Benzie in the magnificent pop culture fest that was Spaced, but also as Robin in the much-underrated Hippies, and as humourless flatmate Pete in rom-zom flick Shaun of the Dead.

He was never in Star Wars
Au contraire. Okay, so he wasn’t to be found poking sticks at Yawas on Tatooine in the original trilogy and he never had a Hasbro figure hand-crafted in his own image. But the coolest thing to come out of the plot-less prequels was Darth Maul, no question. And guess who provided the voice-over? No, it wasn’t the Green Cross Code man.

He was in that show with Tim from The Office
If you mean Hardware, yes. Yes he was. Written by Men Behaving Badly’s Simon Nye, Peter played Kenny in all 12 episodes of one of 2003’s ha-ha highlights for Talkback Thames, alongside Martin Freeman and good old Reg Holdsworth.

Did you just mention Talkback Thames?
Segue-tastic. Of course, Peter and co-conspirator Robert Popper created the creepily accurate mock children’s educational series Look Around You. What they can’t tell you about germs, the brain and metals just isn’t worth knowing. I mean, did you know the full name of Iron is Iron de Havilland, dumb-dumb?

Hasn’t he annoyed Alan Partridge?
Who hasn’t? But as Yank-loving Tex and mutual friend of petrol station worker Michael he manages to rile Norfolk’s notorious graveyard shift DJ into something unimaginably green-eyed.

Is he some sort of comedic chameleon?
Just a bit. Whether it be voice over-ring for South Park, Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle, The IT Crowd or putting in a cameo shift in the likes of Black Books, Little Britain and Murder Most Horrid, Serafinowicz has the physicality and voice for every occasion and any comic creation. Damn him and his unrelenting talent.

Might he get pigeon-holed?
Doubtful. As well a taking over the telebox, Serafinowicz has stuck a reverential flag in the interwebs. And it’s got his face on it. The Peter Serafinowicz Show was borne out of the success of skits he posted on YouTube – and his Twitter page has amassed almost half million followers. Twitterati take note.

He has his fingers in many a fun-filled pie, right?
True dat. His rising stock has taken him, like, totally transatlantic, man. He’s currently to be found on Fox’s Running Wilde, brought to us from the creators of acclaimed Arrested Development. Hollywood hasn’t been blind to his talent either – he starred alongside (literal) heavyweights Vinny Vaughn and John Favreau in Couples Retreat.

The poor guy must be tired
Possibly. But that’s not stopping him from putting his native Scouse tongue to good use in the forthcoming re-make of The Beatles’ Yellow Submarine and winning awards for directing Hot Chip music videos. Oh and did we tell you he’s married to Coupling and Green Wing’s Sarah Alexander? When you see him in next week’s instalment of Whitechapel, you’re just not going to see him in the same light are you?

You think there's a comedy cat more ubiquitous than prolific Pete? Someone we didn't realize we were a bigger fan of? Answers on e-postcards, kids...

Tight Tuesday - Rent Torchwood Series 2 for just 99p

This week's Tight Tuesday winner was Torchwood Series Two, which narrowly edged out Battlestar Galactica by just three votes, our closest vote so far.

Get renting now because the 99p rental price only lasts for today. 99p? That's less than 8p an episode - Get in!

Whilst you're there why not vote for the series you want to watch for just 99p next Tuesday? Take your pick from Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, Alias, The Hills and Hustle, and we'll reveal the winner next week.

Have fun with Captain Jack.

Last week's most popular shows

The usual suspects dominated this week's Most Popular Top Ten, and with the final episode on tonight no prizes for guessing which show occupied half the list.

In fact not only did The Inbetweeners take the first four spots, with Will being left home alone proving the most popular episode, the classic "bumder" episode from Series One came in as the sixth most popular show of the week. Who knew bunking of school and drinking no-brand vodka could be so much fun?

With the 6000th episode airing on Friday Neighbours had two episodes in the list, and Jamie's American Food Revolution maintained it's weekly placing, if only for the fact those school canteen chefs think breakfast pizza is a good thing.

The Gadget Show is a fairly regular visitor to the Top Ten list but this week saw a first-time entry for E4's new comedy, PhoneShop. It's slowly building a decent fanbase and unusually for a title coming out of the Comedy Showcase strand, they didn't reuse the pilot as the first episode of the series, they just carried on from where they left off, which is a good thing if you ask me.

If you want to see how Newman did on his first day, why not check the pilot out, and for the completist geeks of you out there, here is the full list.

Top Ten List (Sun 10th - Sat 16th October)
1. The Inbetweeners - Will is Home Alone
2. The Inbetweeners - A Trip to Warwick
3. The Inbetweeners - The Gig and the Girlfriend
4. The Inbetweeners - Will's Dilemma
5. PhoneShop - Doctor Who
6. The Inbetweeners - Bunk Off (Series 1, Ep2)
7. Neighbours - Wednesday 13th
8. Neighbours - Tuesday 12th
9. Jamie's American Road Trip - Episode 5
10. The Gadget Show - Monday 11th October

X Factor - Week 2

Here are the high (and low) lights of the weekend for me.

Saturday - The performances

First we had Storm - more like ‘breeze when having a picnic’; irritating but nothing to write home about. He did a version of Springsteen’s ‘Born to Run’, which was lacklustre at best. The man looked so tired, it was so uninspiring. If I was his mother I would have come down from Scotland and marched him straight to bed.

Treyc Cohen’s version of Prince’s ‘Purple Rain’ was faultless. My prediction is that she will be the longest surviving wildcard on the show. Well, that all depends on how long Wagner-fever lasts. Her success does prompt the question again whether Cheryl made a good decision with her top 3, but at least nobody is talking about Gam-who anymore.

Oh, One Direction… I hadn’t even sat down today when I was bombarded by the other womenfolk of the office about what I think about them. The answer: I don’t really think about them at all. They’re sweet but… yea. I can’t even remember what they sang, I’m sure it was… fine. And I know that they got lots of votes because they are catnip to the pubescent.

Diva Fever, are so much fun! Aren’t they? Don’t you think they’re fun? I mean only one of them can sing, but all their back-up dancers are topless! What fun.

Ok, so Aiden Grimshaw sang a song, and a couple of the notes sounded a bit strained. It was ‘Jealous Guy’ for Pete’s sake; it suits a bit of strain. If you were basing what happened by the judges’ reaction you’d think he was a middle-aged, long-haired Brazilian man running around the stage shirtless. Oh wait… no, they love that.

Wagner – see above. Oh and what you are all interested about is that Simon hinted that Wagner and Mary might be doing the bad thing on the good foot. Ooooh!

Mary Byrne – you’ll never look at a checkout lady the same way again. Also, she’s Nicky from Westlife’s aunty. Well I never.

It’s not over until the fat lady sings, they say. Oh wait one more - Matt Cardle. Without his hat. Madness.


Sunday - The Result

After two psychadelic celebrity performances from Katy Perry and X factor 2008 spawn Diana Vickers, it is time for the results - Double elimination goodness.

Dermot whittles down the fourteen contestants to three: Storm, Belle Amie and Diva Fever. We discover that Storm got the fewest votes and is sent home. You couldn’t see Louis’ whole face, but I could tell that he was quite relieved to get rid of him. Storm promised that this wasn’t the last we would see of him, we hope that’s not true.

The survival songs were suitably ironic. Diva Fever went first with ‘I Will Survive’ and surprisingly without the production they weren’t too bad. Then Belle Amie concluded with ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’ and they all cried. They are a bit older than One Direction all in their early twenties apart from 17 year old Esther. So considering that they are young women and not young girls, something needs to be done to their styling. They need to be more Saturdays and less Sunday with your grandparents. Teenagers aspire to glamourous role models, not attainable ones. Sad fact.

Simon potentially had the difficult decision of choosing between two of his acts but he was saved by the other judges unanimously agreeing to save Belle Amie.

So that's all for this week. Who do you want to win? Personally I am rooting for Rebecca. I didn't comment on her in this post because her brilliance would have usurped my word count.

Someone who is coming on a bit strong with their support is Stephen Fry. He's gone Brazilian nut-ty.




Jokes.

Where Have I Seen Her Before?

The great thing about Reality TV is that the people who want to be publicly humiliated are more-than likely to reappear across multiple shows. Step forward Sophia Wardman, member of X Factor girlband Belle Amie... and ex Shipwrecked contestant.

Cast your mind back to 2007. Sunday morning hangovers mixed in with easy viewing telly (Hollyoaks, Shipwrecked etc). Sophia graced our screens as a flame haired member of the Tiger tribe. If you can’t remember what she was like, then why not watch it?

These days Sophia (now a blonde) can be seen strutting her stuff on The X Factor She originally auditioned as a solo artist, but was sent home at the end of boot camp. Well I say sent home, she just about managed to get backstage before she was called back on stage with three other girls and told they would be going through as a group. They seem to create groups every year, why not actually scrap groups auditioning all together and put them together within the show instead? Simon Cowell, if you are reading this, it was my idea first.

Sophia’s group made it into the live stages in the show and past the first two eliminations, but past experience tells us girl groups don’t seem to do that well. Only time will tell if this is Sophia's big break, or if stint on Coach Trip beckons...